Exclamation Points Won’t Move Donors, but Genuine Emotion Will
Nonprofit fundraising is inherently emotional. As we’ve talked about, giving itself is a decision ultimately driven by the heart.
But fundraisers often mistake excitement for authentic emotional engagement by peppering their messages with exclamation points.
You’ve see it before…
Your gift will change lives!
Donate today to make a difference!
Thank you for your generous support!
The problem? Overusing exclamation points can feel insincere, desperate, or even manipulative. They aren’t shortcuts to real emotional connection.
Let’s explore why exclamation points fail, and what actually drives donors to care.
Excitement isn’t the same as genuine emotion
Neuroscience tells us excitement triggers quick bursts of dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical. This grabs attention, but quickly fades.
In contrast, genuine emotion, such as compassion or empathy, activates deeper, lasting neural pathways.
Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio reminds us that humans are “feeling machines that think,” not the other way around.
Donors aren’t motivated by fleeting excitement. They give because they feel moved at a deeper level.
Compare these sentences:
Because of you, a family will have food tonight!
Because of you, a family will have food tonight.
The first sentence feels artificially enthusiastic. The second, though, resonates because the emotion is real, simple, and unforced.
Authenticity builds trust, and trust moves donors
Exclamation points erode trust because they subconsciously signal to donors that they’re being sold something. But genuine emotion builds trust.
Social psychologist Amy Cuddy explains that trust matters because people are only influenced by those they trust. So when fundraising feels exaggerated or inauthentic, trust weakens.
When donors sense sincerity, they’re more likely to be generous.
Stories create urgency, but punctuation doesn’t
Fundraisers often use exclamation points to artificially create urgency:
Give now to help children in need!
Time is running out, so don’t wait to make your donation!
But psychologists show that storytelling is more effective. This is because the brain engages more with narratives, when it can experience a story vividly and personally.
So, rather than relying on punctuation, tell a story that lets donors feel urgency naturally:
By this time tomorrow, a mother will be forced to choose which meal to skip so her child can eat. You can change that.
Real urgency doesn’t need punctuation—it lives in the authenticity of your story.
Gratitude should feel sincere, not transactional
Gratitude expressed with exclamation points sounds transactional rather than heartfelt:
Thank you for your gift!
Instead, communicate gratitude through meaningful specifics:
Today, a young student in our program found out she can stay in school because of friends like you. That’s real impact, and it’s why I’m deeply grateful for your gift.
Donors who feel genuinely valued become repeat donors.
When (and how) to use exclamation points
Should you completely abandon exclamation points? No—but use them sparingly.
If your sentence needs an exclamation point to feel emotional, rewrite it. Author Elmore Leonard humorously recommends using “no more than two or three per 100,000 words.”
Emotion moves donors to act
Great fundraising copy stirs genuine emotion through clarity, specificity, and sincerity. Not punctuation tricks.
So connect authentically. Because when donors truly feel something, they don’t just give. They care. And caring changes the world.
Sources:
Antonio Damasio, Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain (1994).
Amy Cuddy, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges (2015).
Elmore Leonard, Elmore Leonard’s 10 Rules of Writing (2007).
