Precision in Fundraising Copywriting: The Art of Getting to the Point
You might have a great story to tell your donors, but the brutal truth is that people are busy. Our brains also have limited cognitive resources and we’re quickly overwhelmed by too many words.¹
Despite this, many copywriters make the mistake of drowning their message in excessive details, which causes readers to mentally check out.
If you want to grab attention and be persuasive, you need to be fast and precise. That’s why I want to help you master the art of precise copywriting—or, the art of getting to the point.
Rule #1? Less is (usually) more.
I say “usually” because sometimes, you do need more words—like when you need to ease people into a sensitive topic or you’re talking to folks who expect more words, like major donors.
As with most best practices, this one—“less is more”—doesn’t apply 100% of the time.
Nevertheless, when you write fundraising copy, every wasted word can lead to losing your reader’s attention—and their donation.
So, are you ready to master the minimalist approach to maximize your fundraising results? Here we go.
Why most copy fails: It’s not that it’s bad—it’s just too much
If your copy isn’t getting the results you want, it may not be because it’s fundamentally bad. It could be that it’s just trying to do too much.
Research clearly shows that unnecessary details significantly increase cognitive load, making your message harder to digest and less compelling.² In other words, your reader doesn’t always need a novel. Most times they just need a nudge.
Many organizations assume donors always need a grand emotional build-up before giving. But donors, especially younger ones, don’t always need that. They simply want to know:
What’s the problem?
Why should I trust you?
Why should I give?
Why should I give now?
Answer these questions in as few words as possible, and you’re golden.
Hacks to strengthen your writing
Avoid prepositional phrases. Doing so makes your writing tighter, punchier, and stronger without sacrificing content or meaning. If a prepositional phrase begins a sentence, rearrange it to enhance readability. If a prepositional phrase ends a sentence, nine times out of ten you can delete it entirely—and maintain the meaning with fewer words. For example:
❌ On behalf of our organization, I want to thank you for your generosity.
✅ We’re so grateful for your generosity.
❌ Your gift provides essential care to children in need around the world.
✅ Your gift provides essential care to children in need.
Cut to the chase. Our brains respond more strongly to concrete specifics than vague emotional terms.³ So instead of saying, “Your generous donation will have a life-changing impact on children experiencing hunger,” say, “Through your donation, you’ll feed a hungry child.” Specificity beats sentimentality almost every time.
Write like a human, not like a brochure. People connect better with genuine, conversational language than corporate-speak. So if you want to write, “We strive to create impactful, data-driven solutions for underserved communities,” don’t. Instead, say, “People in our community are in need—but you can help them.”
Use short sentences. And fragments. Shorter sentences reduce cognitive load, making your copy easier to read, understand, and remember.⁴ Compare these two approaches:
❌ In order to provide safe housing for those experiencing homelessness, we rely on the generosity of donors like you, who can make a difference in these individuals’ lives.
✅ Your gift will give someone a home. And hope.
People are busy, so respect their time
People don’t have time to wade through loads of copy. They need clarity and brevity. That means you, the writer/marketer/creative director, must do the hard work of editing so they don’t have to do the hard work of reading.
Writing concisely takes effort. But refining your message reduces cognitive load, making it easier for your audience to act.⁵
Great writers know the power of being concise
The best communicators have always understood that fewer words carry more weight:
Mark Twain famously said, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”
François Fénelon put it perfectly, “The more you say, the less people remember. The fewer the words, the greater the profit.”
Samuel Johnson said, “A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who instead of aiming a single stone at an object takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit.”
Stephen King famously advised writers to be ruthless: “Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.”
Friedrich Nietzsche captured brevity: “It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book.”
Beatrix Potter put it simply, “The shorter and the plainer the better.”
Neuroscience backs these insights: concise messages are simply more effective, memorable, and persuasive.⁶
The final shot: Aim for the heart
Writing precise fundraising copy is like shooting an arrow. Every extra arrow (word) increases cognitive load, reducing the chance of hitting your target.
When your copy is sharp, clear, and direct, it hits your reader’s heart—and that’s what brings results.
So forget filling the air with arrows hoping one will land.
Aim carefully, hit the heart, and you’ll move people to action every time.
Sources
¹ Sweller, J. (1988). Cognitive load during problem solving: Effects on learning. Cognitive Science, 12(2), 257-285.
² Cognitive Reading Load. (2024). Readability Formulas. https://readabilityformulas.com/how-to-measure-cognitive-reading-load-to-improve-readability-of-any-text
³ Paivio, A. (1991). Dual Coding Theory. Psychology Press.
⁴ Flesch, R. (1948). A new readability yardstick. Journal of Applied Psychology, 32(3), 221-233.
⁵ Miller, G. A. (1956). The magical number seven, plus or minus two: Limits on our capacity for processing information. Psychological Review, 63(2), 81-97.
⁶ Medina, J. (2008). Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School. Pear Press.
